Dive into a nightmarePosted: August 14, 2011
An exploration of the thin line between dream state and reality.
My eyelids twitch, heart flutters, fingers curl and close into a fist. Steadily, anxiety builds up. In a dream state, my mind fails to comprehend where these signals are headed. I can tell something strange is going on but I fail to grasp the true nature of the events.
If this cannot be reality, why is it so real? This cannot be happening to me. I mean I imagined it could, but I did not really think it would. I am not prepared for this. Perhaps it is time to reexamine what one thinks can and cannot be.
Before I can make sense of it all, my thoughts are rudely interrupted. Anxiety is now panic. I am in a free-fall now and this is real. Through air? Or through water? I don’t know for sure. It does not matter. What matters now is the fall. The mind stays there, frozen. In a vain attempt to right things, it convinces my self to thrash at everything around me in the hope of getting a grip. Can anyone see me like this?
Feeding off itself, panic drives desperation drives panic.
I have dreamed this very moment a million times before and all at once I experience each one unfold as if time has become meaningless. Overwhelmed, I see myself surrender to what I know must come next. I hit rock-bottom and the struggle ends.
A door offers itself and I walk out. I am awake now taking in lungfuls of air, gasping. I cannot recall why I feel this fear. I turn and stand up. Like a newborn’s whimper reflecting a forgotten past, something has left it’s imprint on me.
The story we tell is the only nightmare that we have lived.